As a parent myself, I know how hard it is to balance our dreams for our precious children with the reality of where the world is today. That said, it is important to remember that your child’s school experience is not yours; it is theirs! It is their own journey and memories of elementary, middle and high school that only they alone can and must create, not yours. It does not mean they don’t love you.
The fact that we are just “parents” can be a real source of anxiety for a child. At the same time, parents want their children to love them, not hate them because the level of pressure on them is just too much for them at this point and time of their young lives. As parents, it is a difficult walk as you travel down that fine line between motivating them and over loading them
Parents many times approach their high school age students with plans of what THEY want for their students. I had the similar kind of ideas when my son was in High School. However, it is important to remember this “It’s your child’s life that is emerging, not yours. You are living yours. It is your child who needs to have his or her heart set on where they are applying to school, not you, the parent.” Read this sentence again, and take a moment to think about how you felt as a teenager when you parents probably did the same thing. All the parental wishing in the world will not help a kid get into Harvard, Stanford or UCLA, especially if it is not on their radar.
Students in the US today are confronted with an influx of foreign students, especially those from India, Japan, or China, or another Asian Countries. These students raise the bar on acceptances naturally as a result of their own individual cultural backgrounds. These students have been brought up in a different way which lends to these students to be mentally and emotionally stronger than American peers because they have lived in one of the most competitive demographic areas of the world, and it is just part of who they are.
However, when college admission officers are building a freshman class, they are looking to build a diverse group of students into a class. They want students who can blend and bring new ideas and concepts to their school, so they are not going to take just one type of student. They want diversity.
Therefore, it is important for a child to do the best that they can, and important for parents to be supportive and help find the schools where their child can emotionally and intellectually grow. Sometimes you see a student who wanted a school so bad, had it all, and should have been accepted and but wasn’t. It happens quite a bit, so you have to position yourselves for the "What IFs".
The goal of THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS CONSULTANT is to position students to reach their potential; to look at each student attributes and match them with a school that will serve them well, not set them up for failure.
Our job, as consultants, is to be a neutral, non judging third party to maximize student’s grades, scores, academic effort and extras to be the best they can be before they ever get to the admissions application. As students prepare to apply to the schools of their choice, we assist them with narrowing down their selection to the schools which are the best match and at the top end of their range, allowing for the “what ifs”, not to mention "we buffer the process".
The range that THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS CONSULTANT works with is not necessarily determined by grades, scores, national prominence in academic areas, awards, etc…. The range is made up of a combination of a student’s academic background, schools they have attended likes and dislikes, interests, goals, etc. Once that is determined it is then processed them through a "blender like" technique to come up with a range. We know there is a college for every student; it is just about finding the “right one”. No matter when your child ranks, there is a school for everyone, even schools for those that deal with learning disabilities.
No matter how proud or optimistic a parent may be, both parents and students alike must understand that they are dealing with a system to which they have control over till all the applications are in. Once the applications are submitted and the mixtures are shaken out, it is anyone's guess. Admissions officers can never say what they will do till they see the applicant pool they receive each year.
Parents must accept the idea that as much as we would like to be, and as often as we have been through out the life of our child, the key player(s), we aren't anymore. Our job as parents is tapering down, and now the child is the key player. Focusing on the student is central to our process as it is their interests, passions, and goals we are trying to nurture.
Top Tier Schools now show tough odds of getting in. It’s not fair to a student to put pressure on them if they can not reach to and to set them up for failure. Students and Parents need to present themselves in the best light to a top tier school as best the can, keeping in mind that there are no guarantees, and sometimes the most you can do is hope.
So please, our word to parents is this, and we mean it from the heart. As you get nervous and excited as all parents do at this time in your life, simply revise the expectations you and your student have this year and fall in line keeping in mind your child’s natural tendencies and gifts. Failure to not do this is a recipe for disaster and will demoralized your son or daughter.
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