As a parent, you want the best for your child. You want your child to do better perhaps than you did. You are nervous. You are excited. You are perhaps re-living your college experience all over again.
A parent myself, I know how hard it is to balance our dreams for our precious children with the reality of where the world is today. That said, it is important to remember that your child’s school experience is not yours; it is theirs. It is their own journey, with memories of elementary, middle and high school that only they alone can create. It does not mean they don’t love you.
The fact that we are just “parents” can be a real source of anxiety for a child. And, parents want their children to love them, not hate them because the level of pressure on them is just too much for them at this point in time of their young lives. As parents, it is a difficult walk as you travel down that fine line between motivating them and over loading them
Many times parents approach their high school age students with plans of what they want for their students. I had the same kind of ideas when my son was in High School. However, it is important to remember this next sentence I am going to state: “It’s your child’s life, not yours. It is your child who needs to have his or her heart set on where they are applying to school, not you, the parent.” Read this sentence again, and take a moment to think about how you felt as a teenager when you parents probably did the same thing. All the parental wishing in the world will not help a kid get into Harvard, Stanford or UCLA, especially if it is not on their radar.
Students in the US today are confronted with an influx of foreign students, especially those from India, Japan, or China. Theses students raise the bar. They are accepted because their own individual cultural backgrounds which dictates a strong work ethic not seen in the US. Consequently, these students are mentally and emotionally stronger because they have lived in one of the most competitive demographic areas of the world, and it is just part of who they are.
However, admission officers when they are building a freshman class want to build a diverse group of students into a class, so they are not going to take all of these students, However, it does lower the number of available spots. Therefore, you child is still a chance that if that is where they want to go, to get in. Keeping that thought in mind, it is then important for your child to do the best that he or she can. More importantly, for you as the parent, you need focus on schools where their child can emotionally and intellectually grow. Occasionally, you see a student who had it all, has their heart set, should have been accepted and doesn"t get in.. It happens all the time,. and the rejection is hard to take.
The goal of THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS CONSULTANT is to position students to reach their potential; to look at each student attributes and match them with a school that will serve them well, not set them up for failure.
Our job, as consultants, is to be a neutral, non judging third party to maximize student’s grades, scores, academic effort and extras to be the best they can be before they ever get to the admissions application. As they prepare to apply to the schools of their choice, the mission is to assist them with narrowing down their selection to the schools which are the best match and at the top end of their range, allowing for “what ifs”
The range that THE COLLEGE ADMISSIONS CONSULTANT works with is not necessarily determined by grades, scores, national prominence in academic areas, awards, etc…. The range combines a student’s academic background, schools they have attended likes and dislikes, interests, goals, etc. and processed them through a blender to come up with a range. We know there is a college for every student; it is just about finding the “right one”.
No matter how proud or optimistic a parent may be, parent and students alike must understand that they are dealing with a system over which they have control over; and not even admissions officers know till all the applications are in, and the mixtures is shaken out. Admissions officers can never say what they will do till they see the applicant pool they receive each year.
Therefore, parents must understand, as much as we would often like to be, and as up to now we been through out the life of our child, we are not the key player(s) anymore. Our job as parents is tapering down, and now the child is in the role of the key player. Focusing on the student is central to our process as it is their interests, passions, and goals we are trying to nurture.
Top Tier Schools are now showing tough odds of getting in. Therefore, it’s not fair to a student to put
pressure on them if they can not reach it and to set them up for failure. Students and Parents need to position and present themselves in the best light to a top tier school as best the can, keeping in mind that there are no guarantees, and sometimes the most you can do is hope.
So here is my heartfelt advice to parents, I know you are nervous and excited. I know you are under as much stress as your child, enough more because you understand the stakes involved. Your child is stressing even more because of your stress... so stop! Please take time now and revise the expectations you and your student face in the fall line-up, keeping in mind your child’s strengths.. Failure for you to not address this now is a recipe for disaster and will demoralized your son or daughter, if they can not meet your expectations.
As school starts this fall, and seniors begin to narrow down the choices of where they want to apply, seniors should also note that colleges are doing more than showing off their school to you. 
